i almost bit the dust

por tam

I began the year thinking about the way I was going to make things work out. As every human being, I began the year with the wishes and hopes and fears, thinking forward. But, none of my own happened. Not even one of them. Wishes and hopes were not built, fears have just grown. Some people would start asking themselves why that happened, and then fall down, lose their minds. However, I better stay without thinking about my first-new-year wish, because nothing’s always perfect, sometimes you don’t get what you want , also you can get what you’ve never thought you would, and that what keep us walking, and never by our knees.

All the promisses and prays wasn’t enough to support what I want badly. All the job wasn’t vainly, but didn’t solve, anyway. And this is life. We can plan, we can do things right, we can believe that in the end all will be fine. But, sometimes it doesn’t depend on us, it’s all about a system we can’t fight against. So, we raise our heads up and say to ourselves “Hold on”. If this were meant to be, this would be. Like this weren’t, just take in that the next shot will be yours. Because failures don’t exist just to tell us how bad we are not able to live, but it do to show us that we can persist to make things better, and go ahead, and take our winnings. After all, we just get the gains through the bloomer.

Dispite all the darkness, 2010 had mostly way great times. Times that made the year worth all the risk, worth every tear, worth every complaining morning, worth all the yell and disappointment. Even, in the middle of way to get my desire I changed the road and got started my war within. Even, in the middle of my way, the way I planned hardly to focus, I just threw it all away – not because it wasn’t worthing anymore, but cause I had more important concerns. I don’t regret the flinch, I did it to get the best I could take from my 2010.

And the best was the fact that I’ve met people. Some of them was worth at that moment, others worth for all the life ahead. I trully met friendship, and flam. I discovered that I can’t live without some of these ones. So, sometimes, it’s not about what we want, but, about our needs, our values, ourselves.

I figured out that future’s in my hand, I just need to learn how to take the chances. I don’t know how much I deserve all the “breathe taking” experiences I’ve been through in 2010, but whatever it is, made me feel better and think better. I don’t know if I’m shining, instead, I got that I’ve made my road the way it supposed to be.

Happy New-Year for everyone ♥